I've been told i am odd, weird, eccentric, unique and individual. Its all the same to me. I danced when there was no audible music, but theres always a song in my head. Music overwhelms my world, I just expect everyone else to follow.
If you asked me what God made me with I would tell you with piano keys and melodies, with drops of summer rain, splashs of bright yellow paint, with bright pink flamingo feathers, first kisses, with bright stage lights, and so much i have yet to discover.
Some say they don't understand me, but i think they harboring the same feelings.
My grandma told me that i sang before i talked.
That i danced before i walked.
I know who i was,
And who i am to be,
But i can't seem to find
The person that is me.
I was looking through old letters, and journals. At what i was two years ago. The poster child for teen angst. Black lipstick, too much eye make up, long sleeves to cover the scissor cut up and down my arms, walking along humming marilyn manson or trying not to cuss like a sailor. Yep that was me. Not anymore. There is still a part of me that is this girl. A part of me that just wants to yell "screw the world" and have Mr. Manson be my savior. My eyes still linger on the old clothes at the bottom of my closet. But that girl is lost. Mixed with a lot of other me's that have evolved. I don't know how she died or exactly when. I do remember waking up and feeling like i was living a lie.
So i guess God made me with Midnight Magic LipStick too.
And even as the goth lives inside there is also the princess, the sweet and somewhat innocent side of me that is sometimes given off because of my short stature. A real girly gurl i can be.
But even still i'm still considered one of the guys. Most all of my good friends are male. I get along better with them than i ever will with any gurl. I guess i act like them a bit too.
I guess this is confusing for some, but not for me. This is how its always been. I contradict myself. I am so many things.
Hopefully you'll see all of me.